It is easy to love me when you see me working. It is easy because I do what I do with passion and pride. I work hard to be good at it, and I won't be the only person who knows I am. It won't be easy when after 12 straight hours in heels, my humility and patience spent, I am tired and whining. Will you still love me then?
It is easy to love me when I've just won a game or collected my finisher's medal after a marathon. It is easy because with face lit up with that smile, bordering close to silly, and brimming with adrenalin and pride, it is hard not to feel satisfied seeing someone so satisfied. It wont be easy though, in the weeks before leading up to that. When I stubbornly overwork my body out, when I am aching and wallowing in self pity or the times when I beat myself up over falling short. Will you still love me then?
It is easy to love me when you see me cooking or when I surprise you with your favourite meal or something random with hopes of brightening up your day. It is easy because you know how much effort and love comes with these acts and how I spend too much time deciding on what is perfect enough to give to someone perfect. It wont be easy when I second guess my recipes sometimes or feel insecure when I try out something new. It wont be easy when you see that crestfallen face of mine, when I sheepishly admit to burning my cakes or cookies a little, or when I find out the congee I spent the entire morning making is way too salty. Will you still love me then?
It is easy to love me when I make the effort to look good for you when we're out. It is easy because it's only human to forget the obligation of calling someone yours, works with the fact that I'd very much like to call you mine too. It will be way too easy with the combination of our friends' laughter and booze. It wont be easy however, when I give my drinking capabilities too much credit, and I am kneeling over regugitating my guts out. I will push you away both physically and with my temper, but we both know secretly all I want/need is for you to stay. You wont understand me and neither will I. Will you still love me then?
It is easy to love me when you're upset or mad at something and I am trying to cool you down by your side. It is easy because we both know you probably may never find anyone with as much patience, care, understanding and maturity as I do. But it wont be easy when the tables are turned and I am the one that needs cajoling. You will not understand how I went from perfectly mature to unbelievably childish and uncouth. I will get insecure. I will get needy. I will need you. I dont know, but will you still love me then?
It is easy to love me when the day is through. When everyone has come and gone and you dont need to tuck yourself into bed. It is easy because while you may want to be alone, you dont want to be lonely. Plus nobody ever says no to goodnight kisses and cuddles. But when the new day starts and you're tempted with so many other opportunities, will you still love me then?
Will you still love me in the morning?
