I never did deserve you

I wake up to yet another text from you. You say you're undeserving, and truth is, we both are. I may not be the perfect girlfriend but I tried and I tried so hard, I forgot to see if you were trying too.

You see, I never did deserve you. I don't deserve someone who doesn't bother to know my favourite colour, my favourite flower or my favourite place. I don't deserve someone who constantly forgets my food allergy, my dislike for milk and my birthday (it's as simple as 11/11, seriously?). I don't deserve waiting for hours at a time for text replies every other time. I don't deserve always being the second option to understandably family and friends but more hurtingly, a pretty stranger or the one that got away. I don't deserve subjecting my family to your opinions and they don't deserve to see me upset. I don't deserve someone who expects me to be there 24/7 when I know I cannot count on you at all. Most of all, for someone who supported you through all your fickle-mindedness and second guesses, I never did deserve for you to put down my biggest ambition of opening a cafe simply because "babe there are so many cafes in Singapore already".

I can, and have always been, overlooking the small superficial matters. Prawns in the steamboat pot again, aimless odd jobs, silly tantrums and dates with everyone else but your girlfriend. And for awhile it was okay to be second or third, as along as I was still on the list of things to remember at the end of the day. But it isnt okay when you put down the things and people that matters the most to me because you know how hard I work for it all. And it definitely isn't okay to be asking for second chances when we are both this undeserving.

How am I ever to deserve someone like you, who constantly makes me feel this way?