All the things you fancied about me was never a prerequisite to you loving me,

It was never about the traits I desperately tried to make you notice. Nothing along the lines of what others would chorus - how well I love, care, carry myself, cook or look. It will never be about my hopes and dreams and all my whims and fancies in between.

All of these was what drew you to me, that was never a question, but they will never be a prerequisite to you loving me because I just realised these things I do, should never be specifically for you, or anyone else for that matter, but myself. You may like the idea of me but these ideas were and will never be sufficient for you to fall in love with me.

We used to argue that the other's version of love was warped and now I've realised maybe we didn't even know what love is at all.

The Grass Is Greener On The Other Side

I've always been a strong believer of the grass on your side being as green as you make it out to be. My theory is simple, it's your grass, you grow it.

But truth be told, more often than not, it isn't the greenest. Somehow, somewhere, the grass is always greener on the other side because no matter how much you tend to your own patch, someone is going to look better, be better at what you do, be in a better situation and simply just have more. 

It is an inevitable fact. I envy many people, for many reasons. I am always (happily) envious of my friends in blissful relationships with their better halves because tried and tested, I am practically a magnet for heartbreak. I constantly look up to my chefs or anyone for that matter that cooks well, because I never got to pursing culinary properly and I always feel there's so much for me be better at. I get possessive and needy sometimes, especially towards those who mean the most to me because I catch myself second guessing my worth or importance from time to time. And as comfortable as I am in my own skin, I'd readily admit I easily fall short against a number of other girls who are crazily blessed with good looks and good figures.

I guess it is only human that people are selective in what they choose to believe. Fallibly, in a state of despondency, we end up too focused on the achievements of others. Plus, inexplicable greed gets the better of us, some time or the other. After all, they always say there's nothing worth having so much as something unattainable. You'd argue that  perhaps the fault lies in the survival instincts etched in our genes to be at the top of the food chain, but in all likelihood, there probably will never be an explanation for our insatiable thirst for success. 

I've realised very early on that a permanent definition of what is sufficient set on a pedestal is impossible because of new benchmarks and expectations set each day. Sufficient will never be enough and enough will never equate to perfection. Entire lifetimes will be squandered to attempting to attain the perfect lawn, because ineffably enough, someone somewhere will be bound to have grass that appears to shine that little shade brighter. 

The most lamentable reason however is, the grass will always be greener on the other side simply because we spend so much time looking over, we forget to look down on the patch we're standing on. All the time, blood, sweat and tears, heartaches and headaches, all your successes and even more so your failures, should have had made a difference in whatever you have now. To say it is a pity it slipped your mind is an understatement.

At the end of the day, I guess my point is, so what if the grass is greener on the other side?