"Ability is of little account without opportunity"

Everything always boils down to a seemingly big gaping hole of possibilities.

And I cant believe this time, as it always has happened before, it was more of a gaping hole of nothing.


Fucking bummer. It's one thing working hard for what you want and not getting it. And another thing to work hard for what you want and not even getting the chance to go get it. Also it isn't a matter of choice. Having to decide to be in a place where I'm "supposed to be" simply on the basis that it's time to prioritise other things in my life, against being in a place where I "want to be" is fucking horrible. These are the two most suitable, neutral and calm words I can possibly offer at this point of time. 


But why am I even surprised. This happens so often I should have already seen it coming.